In this short 2 minute episode I reflect on “The Spotlight Paradox” and what it might mean when we come to make decisions.
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“In this episode I want to talk about a principle that could unlock a new approach for you.
It’s something called the spotlight paradox. The point here is pretty simple – we all know what a spotlight is. it illuminates someone on stage and a lead role might step into the spotlight so all can see them.
To use that picture, we are like the main lead actor or actress in the stage show of our life, so we probably assume that the spotlight is always on us. In other words, everyone is watching us in detail and studying our every move.
So the paradox part of this is that while we all assume we are in the spotlight being observed the opposite is actually more likely to be true.
No one is actually watching or observing you the way you perceive they are – you are not in the spotlight at all. While our self centred egos may put us there it is a perception.
But the reality is that others have their own worries and fears. They are probably thinking you are watching them in their own spotlight rather than even noticing you.
In other words, we think people notice us more than they actually do.
So the consequence of this: It should free you up to take risks and live without a fear of others opinions. If you don’t have to think that others are obsessed with you or noticing every choice you make, then it should free you up to do things and experiment and have ideas not work out, but then try again.
The next time you find yourself hesitating to take a risk or embrace an opportunity because of what others might think, just remember they probably are not noticing you the way you might think they are. The spotlight paradox helps us remember not to worry so much about what others think.
So what might that mean you do?
Until next time, Ka kite ano.”